there's so much about awakening out there that will lead you to believe it's something outside of you.
something more evolved than you, something from the void, the invisible realms. something only angels are made of.
and that it’s attainable to you here on earth - for a price. a price that you falsely perceive as spiritual freedom. a price you gladly pay because you still aren’t ready to get to know yourself.
after a particularly big spontaneous awakening experience, i didn't want to believe in my life as it was up until that point. i experienced a force so insanely powerful, so not-from-around-here that it made me question my entire existence as i had known it. believing in life pre-awakening wasn't an option anymore.
it wasn't as complicated as i thought it had to be, but this world would like to have you believe you that it is.
that you have to trade your muggle life for that of a magi. a magi who has to eat clean, know what every crystal means, and never talks shit on their own life circumstances, lest they get knocked back down a few rungs on the dimensional ladder.
that you have to trade your 3D life for a 5D one, and that you have to pretend to even know what the fuck that even means.
that you have to trade your normal, every day language for some kind of slopped-together new age speak that sounds like it's a "best of" album of pop spirituality's greatest hits.
that you have to be anyone other than the human meat suit you rode in on.
and i can't even begin to tell you how fucking wrong that feels.
i mean, can anyone else relate to this? i know some of you can, because we've talked about it without being able to articulate it. the energy was there. the humor was there. the "what the fuck are we even doing anymore" was there.
it feels like awakening really is a full coming home to your soul. that's what feels true to me.
a soul that has been here for as long as you have (actually, longer). it's so much more of a turning inwards than a turning out (and TUNING out).
so much more of an imploding than an exploding.
so much more of a retreat than a pressing forward.
a return to your unique wisdom vs. a ravenous devouring of everyone else's.
and it's SO not righteous. why would you need to be?
your soul isn’t MY soul.
it's YOUR journey.
it’s YOUR game to play.
it's YOUR home.
maybe we stop giving so much power and influence to what’s going on out THERE.
maybe we can get through this planetary paradigm shift by cutting through the bullshit and admitting that we’re full of it. and proud. humans are a shitty, lovable mess.
maybe, just maybe - we can start to come home to what we always knew
but just didn’t know
we knew.